The Most Powerful Lesson

Caring for Jillian during the last month of her life while she received hospice care was by far the most difficult emotional challenge for me. Yet, it also provided the most powerful lesson.   I knew logically that she was destined to die at a young age, but I never allowed myself to entertain those thoughts on an emotional and heart level.  I just wanted to focus on loving her while she was still alive.  But now I had to actually be willing to say goodbye and to allow her to die.  I had to embrace the true meaning of selflessness.  The amazing thing was that Jillian was continually setting an example for me during her short lifetime.  Despite her many difficulties and challenges, she always expressed compassion and care for others.  Even during the last few weeks of her life, she ‘held on’ so her close friends and family had the chance to say goodbye.  As her father, allowing her to die on her own terms was the final expression of love I needed to give her.

The interesting thing is that this lesson can be carried over to all other aspects of our lives and the many relationships we are involved in.  Isn’t it always harder to love someone when you see them making decisions you don’t really agree with?  You might make your case, even bargain with them to do something differently, but at the end of the day allowing them to decide and choose their own path without severing the relationship is always the most difficult, and ultimately a powerful act of love. This lesson I learned from Jillian has truly helped me navigate my relationships over the past 3 years and know it will continue to do so.