Lesson No. 1 - It's All About the Heart

This blog is about my journey of being the father of a very special little girl.  My hope is that it will be helpful to other dads who have experienced similar experiences and provide me a place to share the lessons I am learning.......

Jillian was born on the evening of November 24, 1997.  We knew she would be a special child as her unique journey began when she was diagnosed with Down syndrome.  I remember driving home to pick up some things at the house the next morning.  I went into her new bedroom and sat on the floor.  It was there that I cried my first tears for Jillian – tears of happiness.  I was overjoyed.   I still can recall the immense feeling of gratitude that filled my heart and mind.  I was a father.  My wife and I were parents. I was blessed with this wonderful child and I was supposed to love her, care for her, protect her, and be her daddy.  Little did I know that she would actually be the one teaching me how to protect, teaching me how to care and teaching me how to love.  At the same time, according to the world’s standards, Jillian would be different.  Not to be deterred, I remember on that day in her bedroom resolving to unconditionally love Jillian regardless of her unique challenges and provide for her the very best life possible, whatever might be in store.

            The next three years were anything but normal as Jillian was diagnosed with leukemia in the summer of 1999 and then with congestive heart failure in March of 2000 - caused by the chemotherapy needed to put the cancer into remission. It was the heart damage that eventually took her life on October 3, 2008.  During the nearly 11 years of her life, she gathered an extensive group of friends from the areas of medicine, therapy services, education, church, and her local neighborhood.  She made friends with almost everyone (both children and adults) and would win over their hearts with her smile, warmth, humor, compassion and love. Her physical heart was permanently damaged and marking time until its last beat, but her spiritual heart was incredibly healthy and bigger than most.

If I could summarize her life in a phrase it would probably be something like this: Jillian enjoyed life as it came to her, and she had a true sense about what life is really all about – special relationships and loving other people.   Ultimately, those will always be my greatest memories about her and equally important, the greatest lessons I learned from her.