819 days to be exact

So today marks the end of the year and the 117th week since Jillian departed. 819 days to be exact.  Yes, I am one of those people who keeps track of the days, months, years.....and remember the dates.  What is hard to believe is that by the middle of this new year I will have lived over 1,000 days without her.

Tomorrow is the beginning of a new year.  I know the questions I will hear.....  Are things getting easier?  Have I started to live life again?  Is it still hard?  These are often questions people will ask me (or if they don't ask, then I know they are wanting to) and especially so with the turn of the year.  The reality is that these are the wrong questions.  Jillian will always be a part of my life.  She is forever my daughter and that will never change.  I will share about her whenever asked or given the opportunity.  I want people to ask.  I want to share about the amazing things she did while she was here and the impact she had on me and transformed my own perspective on life. 

Though I won't ever experience some of the parenthood milestones my friend's will - like watching their kids go off to college and then become adults and start their own lives, there are still so many memories and adventures that Jillian provided me.  Our life with her was slowed down to the point where we had more of an opportunity to soak it all in and not take for granted the typical milestones that kids whiz through.  I still remember the day when she stood up on her own.....the sparkle in her eyes, the smile on her face...realizing she could do more than just crawl. That was near her fifth birthday.  Then, it was three years later when she took her first step and began walking.  These are memories that are engraved in my memory banks.  We prayed and hoped for her to do these things and when she did it was such an amazing achievement.

So as the days continue to pass since she left this world, my memories of her solidify and the lessons I have learned are highlighted all the more....  I can't wait to share about her in the new year.  

Happy New Year.