The Anniversary Day

Today marks three year’s since Jillian’s death.  It is difficult to believe that it has already been this long.  It certainly doesn’t feel that way.  The question often asked on a day like this is “what are you going to do today?”  The truth is, that there are an unlimited number of answers to this question and contrary to what the remainder of the world may think, all are absolutely fine.   Some parents will do nothing different than every other day they have ‘survived’ without their child.  They will just try to get by.  Many will think about their child a bit more than usual or perhaps they will participate in a memorial ceremony of some sort.  Some will take a vacation day from work.  Some will receive letters and cards from loved ones letting them know they are in their thoughts and hearts.  Some may send letters to close friends and family sharing special memories of their child.  The list goes on and depending upon what ‘anniversary’ year it may be often the day’s events change. 

So what will I do today?  I have decided to take a day off from work and spend the entire day with Jillian. We’ll start by spending time in her room lounging around and laughing at silly things. Then we’ll take a drive to the coast and go to a pumpkin patch and pick out a special Halloween pumpkin together.  We’ll pick up some coffee at the local Starbucks and then head down to her favorite beach spot.  After playing in the sand and watching the seabirds and dogs running on the beach, we’ll grab a bight to eat (I think we’ll go for chicken nuggets and french fries from McDonalds).    Depending how we’re feeling we might go for a short hike and search for wild life, or go for a drive along the coastal highway and stop at lookout points.  Later tonight, after dinner, we’ll light a candle together and leave it lit until we retire to bed.  Throughout our special date, we’ll talk, laugh, and remember all the precious times we’ve had together as father and daughter. We’ll talk about the future and about what mommy and daddy are hoping to do.  It will be a memorable day for me and Jillian.  And like many other bereaved parents on the anniversary of their child’s death, I will cry.